herREALITY

2011-03-21T02:56:00.000-07:00

gosh..i nvr thought i would miss chern ern so muchD:
3 more daysD:
*sobsob* i miss her uhD:
well actually i dont only miss her..
just that i miss her moreD:
you know i'm the kind that wont forget promises so easily.
and i strongly dislike ppl who say things they dont mean..
i was wondering..if he meant it..
does he really ____ __?
is there a ____ _____ __ ___ ____ ____ ___ __?
truth is..no matter which guy..
i will never be able to get together with any of them..
i finally understand after such a long time..
school is starting soon anyway.
i hope i can fit in:/
but uhwells at least i found someone in the same poly and same block as me[:
cant wait for chern ern to come back=x
i got so much to rant to her!
no one to talk to for 1 weekD:
CHERN ERN uh!
faster come back uh!
i want to bleah so much to youD:

2011-03-17T06:43:00.000-07:00

this feels terrible..really terrible.
sometimes i dont even understand why i check my phone several times a day.
it wont buzz anymore..
so why am i doing it?
i dont understand.
but it feels terrible.
my cousin is getting a divorce.
after 9 years..cause her husband is having an affair.
if i were to see that idiot some day..i dont think i can stop myself from hitting him.
i'm utterly disgusted.
after clearing my ahgong's stuff suddenly it got me thinking..
thinking of how my ahgong would have felt 24 years ago when my ahma left him.
he spent this 24 years alone and nvr once mentioned her.
he kept so much things that could easily remind him of her and yet..
he hasnt mentioned her once.
what's love?
what's that thing that cause ppl unable to let go of someone?
what's that thing that cause someone to be important to be another?
love is something that cant be explained.
is that it?
is that all?
i want to make a promise.
i never want to fall in love again.
after today i dont want to have to hide somewhere to cry in pain because i cant tell anyone the pain im feeling.
after today i never want to cry while loving being the main reason of my tears.
after today i should only think about how to study harder..and get a place into uni.
after this..i should never fall in love again.

2011-02-17T07:54:00.000-08:00

i hate it when someone's reaction/action/emotion affects me.
i told myself not to care but guess i really cant help it.
yea i may be sronger than some others..
but i guess there is time where i need to breakdown to breathe.
well sometimes you get some and you lose some.
i just hate how some ppl dont know wtf you're going through and yet they comment so much.
for what do you become a bitch.
for how you defend yourself you become a bitch.
for what you do to vent your frustration you become a bitch.
you know sth?dont judge me.
i hate that.just as much as how you hate it when ppl judge you.
he's a good guy.i know.
i sldnt hurt him.i know.
i shld have thought of how hurt he would be when he saw that.i know.
but you know?
did he ever thought of what i will feel when i see what he posted?
how he promised to leave me alone for the time being.
if you promised sth why shld you be upset.
and even if you are why do you post it?
did you see me posting stuff like that there?
you dont start judging me and say that i hurt him first.
you dont even know what the fuck happened.
right you always understand him and take side with him.
cause you claim you are just like him.
big deal?i'm just like that someone else but i didnt side him.remember?
first when me and annabel quarrelled you sided her and didnt ask for story from my side.
then when me and him got together you went around complaining that i'm just playing him.
then now you come judge me.
like FUCK YOU.
opps sry very long nvr use f word but i guess i gotta use it.
cause you used it to scold me.twice.
so i'm returning it to you.
i dont usually use it but well..
you know for the past 16 years 3 months and 19 days i have nvr knew that i was born a bitch.
but whatever..everyone is a bitch or a bastard at times..i guess i can accept that.
look i know you stopped scolding me on fb.
but that was all because he told you to.
it's stupid.so what?you arent happy with me anyway.
you wanna continue scolding me there i wouldnt give a damn anyway.
but i swear if you start spreading rumours about this when you dont know the full story
then i wouldnt fucking care if you learn boxing or not.
cause nth gets near me when i'm this mad.
sometimes i regret siding you during quarrels
cause i dont think the way you treat me behind my back deserves my help.
there's a limit to my tolerance..and this is the limit.

2011-02-10T04:24:00.000-08:00

hmm back to blogging[:
it's time i set things right.
look he typed that on facebook.
look how many ppl commented there.
i nvr once complained about anything on facebook did i?
i posted sth on bel's wall because i was mad.
you have a problem with that?
nobody ask you to look right?
hey guess what.if i'm a bitch then you are one too.
you know.if you had the guts, you would have say whatever you want in my face right?
know sth?i had enough.
you want to know what i'm like truely?
you want to see what i can do?
you can watch.
i'm turning my back against everything from now on.
i dont want to care about anything anymore.
i looked back everytime..i couldnt let go of anything.
not anymore.i'm gonna be who i use to be.
smiley, cheery.that's how i am.
no point changing for anyone[:
so long ppl[: i'l blog again soon[:

2011-01-18T02:44:00.000-08:00

i cant go outD:
its boring to stay at home.
nth is going right..sth tells me 2011 isnt gonna be good.
i tried.i really did..
but somehow everything seems to be crashing down.
i told myself that everything will be okay soon.
i hope it will be that way.
i need to go out soonD:
it feels awfulD:
i had a nightmare..i lost you...will you be back?
will this be over?
no matter how hard stuff get..i just need you by my side.
the stakes went too high and i waited too long.
will you be back?

2011-01-13T01:18:00.000-08:00

i'm here to revive my blog:D
hehe=x but idk what to write=x
i hope i can get into my biomedical science course in np=x
haisD: all my english result's faultD:
uhwells.i'm having a terrible headache nowD:
it feels weird.
i went to read my past blog post..it sort of got me thinking.
i miss c11D:
eh die luh i really dk what to write sia!
got to thank ppl i have been talking to recently:D
they cheered me up a lot:D
the babes like abigail,donna and regina
and the dudes like yeow boon and malvick:D

oh yea that day brennan,malvick,regina and yeow boon came over to my house:D
we played monopoly:D
damn funny[:
come again okay?:D next time abi and donna should come too:D
let's ask ben along too=x
that dude start school ler siaD:
no more time for us ler>< hehe=x kidding=x
i keep telling myself that everything will be alright..that in no time i'll forget you.
maybe i shld stop lying to myself.
i'm missing someone i shldnt be.but i cant help it.
you already moved on with life.leaving me thinking of the memories you left behind.
you forgotten about them..i'm just a little too not over you.

2010-11-08T06:19:00.000-08:00

hi people:D
yay:D we are all left with mcqs:D
i meant most of us=x
oh yea happy birthday ethan ruan jing tian<3
guess that's the only way i can wish him for nowD:
i want to see him somedayD:
my favourite taiwanese actor:D
alrights shall go slack again[:
any videos to recommend?=x
buhbye people:D

2010-11-07T01:07:00.000-07:00

woohoos:D
long time no see:D
yay i'm left with 3 more papers[:
actually its 3 more sub papers=x
i've no more mood to studyD:
my brain is like bursting alrD:
too much things in my brainD:
but uhwells after this week its partey:D
camp,chalet,gatherings here i come:D
oh and most importantly celebrate 1st year with dear<3
buhbye ppl:D

2010-04-22T05:34:00.000-07:00

second time i cried this year..
it felt worst than how it use to feel.
at least i was numbed last last year.
i dont know what brought me so down these days.
probably because i was so afraid of my every move.
forget it.plainly forget it.
i'm tired enough.
stop thinking brain stop thinking.

2010-04-21T07:05:00.000-07:00

life sucksD: especially this week.
like seriously.
1. haven been feeling well for the whole week.
2. ___ might _____.that makes me cryD:
3. accidentally making a huge mistake and you just can undo it.
4. freaking chem test made me scared till i forgot eveything.
they are right...you win some and you lose some.
but i would rather lose everything i have now to get back what i once had.
but i didnt mean losing dear=x
you know how much it sucks when your frens betray you right?
and then you chose not to forgive them..
till you realise that maybe they didnt mean it so you try your best to forgive them.
and then it happened to you, and suddenly the whole world is against you.
that didnt seem to happen when they did it to you did it?
even sry cant explain what you really feel.
i'm tired..like seriously.
it probably didnt help when i keep feeling dizzy the whole day and my eyes freaking hurt hell lot.
is it that hard to face someone that accidentally did sth that you didnt like?
harder than facing these freaking hypocrites that cursed you behind your backs?
yea i know i dont mean much to you..but if you hadnt meant that much to me..
i wouldnt be typing all this now.
she's leaving,he's ignoring.
great what a greatgreat world.
yea i'll shutup alr.
yea i'll disappear.
will that be better for all of us?
crying maybe isnt a good idea, cause letting out all those that i've been trying to keep..
will make my eyes red and swollen.
i'll give up.on making everyone satisfied with me.
thanks for playing a part in my life though..and thanks again for the memories.
can 4e6 be united?

2010-03-26T07:03:00.000-07:00

hehheh hello ppl[:
most probably wont be posting so soonD:
olevels=/
laogong<3 broke his toenail today and was bleedingD:
uhwells nth much..life is normal..
tuesday got performance.
last co practise cum performanceD:
uh wells gotta do my work..
buhbye ppl[:

2010-02-05T06:26:00.000-08:00

finally..i'm posting again[:
haha.okayokay nth much to say though.

i lied 4 times today=/
not to my mum nor my teachers=/
wonderful right?lol.
oh and i managed to hold back my tears twice today[:
i've improved again:D
i'm tired.very tired.
in every single way...
this year sec4 cant afford to fail my tests=/
uhwells.i cried once today though.
the throat,the cough and the flu makes things worst.
i think i'm dying soon=/
kay luh too tired ler.dont want type too much.
buhbye ppl[:

2009-12-21T07:35:00.000-08:00

today's sky looks purple:D
and it my the walls look purple too.
so pretty[:
but somehow it started to make me think of alot of things._.
well it always happen to me.
but it only happens when the sky looks very pretty._.
weird eh?
it just feels weird when you think of so many things and then you feel like crying.
its just for no reasons..which makes it weirderO.o
uh wells that's why i always want a simple life i guess.
i hate complicated stuff..
uhwells kinda crappy right?
gtg ler[:
buhbye[:

2009-12-17T08:32:00.000-08:00

happy 1 month:D
haha again=x
i went out with laogong<3:D
watched planet 51 today:D
damn funny!
anyways yep laogong<3 wrote stuff on his blog and yea..
sths i wanted to say too.
you know..i was once with ben.
and yea many either think that i dumped ben for laogong<3
or that i'm a flirt.
not that really care of what others badmouthed me about..
but i dont want it to affect laogong<3
yep i really love him[:
so yea..
hehe[:
okay i shall reply my lovely tags:D
annabel: LOL
rongjian: haha fun[:
hweeshien: okay soon[:
rongjian: sure[:
annabel: yeayeayea=x
ah woon: i thought the ah brothers died or sth?O.o yeayea victoryO.o
huimin: LOL
keith: LOL i dont mind.but what is this about?O.o
rongjian: yep i know[:
(L): sure thing[: love you too[:
huimin: uh LOL not you too?
huimin: haha okay[: you too[:
keith: why me?O.o LOL haha thksthks[: its from the SYA[:

2009-12-16T08:35:00.000-08:00

happy 1 month laogong<3:D
haha yea this is supposed to be posted at 12.36am[:
tmr going out:D
was out the past few days with my gfs[: and 6c-rians:D
actually i wanna type a note for laogong<3
but if my mum dont see me off the comp she is gonna haunt me the whole night._.
so yea maybe i'll post tmr[:
buhbye ppl[:

2009-12-06T08:03:00.000-08:00

hi ppl[:
short postD:
cause uh i should off my comp soon if not mimi scoldD:
its finally mon[:
laogong<3 is coming back soon[:
yay[:
going out tmr[:
woohoos[:
kay i shall stopO.o
will post again soon though[:
i still need to talk about the camp:D
kaykay buhbyes ppl[:

2009-11-29T06:44:00.000-08:00

tiredD:
haha went for yog just now.
then go meet laogong<3 after that[:
can i post the details tmr?
i'm super tired now siaD:
plus my crazy mum wants me to go do hmwkO.o
uhwells.going for camp soonD:
i love camps:D
but i'll miss laogong<3D:
uh wells shant say too much now[:
but anyways, isnt it obvious?:D
kay luh i go ler[:
buhbye[:

2009-11-26T07:49:00.005-08:00

yes!i finally got to this page!
damn it man.
today's internet has serious problemsO.o
anyways let's continue[:
we start with ytd first[:

went out with laogong<3
woohoos[:
actually supposed to meet him at city hall mrt station.
ended up taking the same trainO.o
haha okay.so yep[:
then we reach ler went to walk around.
nth much bah..other than the part were laogong<3 said
'eh jin wan yao chi shen me?qu mai cai!' when we were in carefour
haha.the funny part not here.
so after that uh we went down to vivo.
nth much though=x
then we went to take ticket from yaxin<3
to go to the kitty lab stuff[:
then after that we went.
wah piang eh.
they could have place the thing at hall 6 instead of hall 1 uhO.o
complimentary tickets rocks:D
haha.yep[:
so we were given the kta to play games and so on.
hmms tell you what.you want details go laogong<3's blog see[:
cause i'm tiredO.o
haha yep.i got link him[:
its somewhere there ----->
then after that we go back eat dinner[:
i shall post the picture of both our kitty id card soon[:
muahaha.
yep[: on the way back for dinner..we were on mrt.
and there was this cute little girl very near us.
laogong<3 even waved to herO.o
then the girl xia dao or sth.
then she keep staring at the 2 of us.
then she ask her ahma or sth
'jiejie wei shen me bei korkor bao zhe?'
quite loud=x at least i heard itO.o
and the ahma was like -.-
HAHA.damn funny!!!!
then after that laogong<3 sent me home.
cause it was like 10+ =x

okay done.today:D
went out with my qin ai derh annabel[:
that girl uh today whole day so crazy!my goodness man.
and we saw*ahem* and *ahem*
ahahahahas.
okay wait i saw nth hor annabel?><
haha we from vivo walk until city square mallO.o
then after that bel went home.
i went to loneO.o
until i was so tiredO.o my goodness man.
maybe i'll post again for the details.
cause now i'm too tiredD:
and laogong<3 wants me to go and sleep=x
kay luh.done[:
buhbye ppl[:

2009-11-23T06:54:00.000-08:00

i'm officially boredD:
laogong<3 just got his new hp^^
and he is taking long to reply me.
because its a touch screen.
haha hope he doesnt flare up at his new phoneO.o
yesterday was great[:
starting went to work with yaxin[:
woohoos.super funneh sia.
i shld talk to her more[:
we have very similar thinkings.
then after that went tpy walkwalk.
sat down at my usual favourite spot:D
at the same time i waqs figuring my new phone and its functions=x
then was smsing laogong<3
after that he and his parents came to tpy to eat their dinner.
at koufu.lol.i was standing right outside all along.
cause i wanted to go there befoer that.
then after that he turn and look at me from inside.
then his mum also lookO.o
after that me and laogong<3 went to walkwalk.and sat at kiddy palace the staircaseO.o
chatchatchat.until they wanna close ler.
so went to walkwalk.then after that take mrt home[:
missed many trains=x
haha i realise my posts nowadays all got laogong<3
LOL.maybe i shld tryda write one without him._.
but the thought of him cheers me up[:
cause he is such a clown:D
no luh.cause he tends to make me smile[:
kay luh kay luh i stop.
if not i think everyone sure tag and say their goosebumps all coming out ler.
haha.okay i shall reply my tags[:

kenny: nope.not yet._.
sokkuan: idk but i hope its soon!wait i try to plan can?anyone can help?._.
kenny: lol okay i try[:
annabel: no way manxzxzxz.nvr start cannot give you.that was our bet!
juntian: omg dont so gay luh!LOL
rongjian: LOL nice one!i like:D
amanda: hi[:

2009-11-20T23:19:00.000-08:00

woots[: got a new hp!!!!
but trading in old one.
sian i'll definitely miss my old hp sia!D:
but uhwells.
haha laogong<3 dota-ing.
i love my laogong<3 alot luh!!!!
compared to that stupid idiot that dont let me sleep last night.
pissed sia.
heng i trading in my old phone uh.
all the memories and stupid msges shall be gone with it[:
HAH.big joke.
i know my tolerance level is high:D
dont you guys think so too?
teehees[:

kay luh i reply my tags[:

yeowboon: sheesh.whatever)<
annabel: nononono.nvr start so dont have:D
yeowboon: kay soon[:
huimin: wahlau eh.like that luh.i help you you like thatD:
annabel: oi bu yao luan jiao dumbdumb wrong things luh!no $10:D
jimmy: haha okayokay[:
singwei: what?cannot uh?you jealous uh?call thapanee luh!
shermaine: what?omg NO!stay away from me man:D
kenny: LOL!wah thks[:

kay done[:
buhbye[:

2009-11-20T06:15:00.000-08:00

hello ppl[:
tiredD: totally drained manD:
this is what you get for not sleeping for 3 daysO.o
damnD:
haha 3e6 slumber parteh was great:D
i mean yea could have been more fun but it was really great[:
the first time i saw 3e6 as one!!!
so cool luh!

so at first reach cheng guan's house.
we slacked lol.then ppl played poker and mahjong.
i sat down there and watch for awhile.
watched borat.lol.
supposingly it was a comedy.but it somehow had porn in it.
haha!laogong<3 covered my eyes to avoid the porn part.haha!
then have lunch[:
and watched saw V.wah piang eh.GORE sia!
i'm nvr gonna watch it again man.
but well laogong<3 covered the very gross parts for me[:
then ppl go down prepare bbq.ended up rainO.o
i stayed upstairs though.
played taptap:D and cheat[:
hahahaha.
so in the end use oven to cook food.
woohoos.i helped.
then hor, realised we are running out of drinks.
so i volunteered to go buy.
then jt went to call laogong<3 pei me goO.o
after we come back they watching final destination III
lol.another gore.but not so bad.
after that everyone tired liao.
so we go sleep.yea that's when all the teasing came in yea.
cause me and laogong<3 were kinda cuddling together=x
laogong's<3 arm veh nice to sleep:D opps=x
but ended up slept about 10 to 20 mins only.
chat throughout the rest.
laogong<3 was like my guardian angel the whole night:D
see why i love him?:D
hehe=x stop teasing me ppl.
then next morning we went to the pool.
but couldnt go in.cause we in clothes.
damnD: uhwells.
went for breakfast at macs.hotcakes^^
then go lan audi!:D
but was so tired till i fell asleep while playing.
in the end went home with laogong<3:D

today's co was tiring man.
the song uh.
i tell you i close eyes also wont play wrong.
felt like sleeping so much luh!!!!!!!!!!
but yea still okay luh.
after that dinnered with jiayu,seorin,annabelle,qien,jt.
damn funny!!!!

done[:
wait not yet.this one uh for someone one.
cause someone said that my laogong was using vulgarities on him
so let's see how we will do it without then?

you know....
i never wanted to do this.
but.i've been controlling myself all these time.
you said you wanna be frens right?
so i said okay.
friends doesnt include asking about my whereabouts uh?
i dont see my friends doing that to other ppl.
plus you know i would rather you talk to me then go bombard my frens with stuff.
leave them alone alright?
she doesnt have anything to do with you in the first place!
harass doesnt only mean to aggressively pressure or intimidate someone.
as long as the other party feels disturbed,its harass.
come on.you know it too right?
or are you telling me that you dont know the law?
i mean i dont mind if you talk to me.
i can stand it.but stop doing it to my friends alright?
look you want us to tell you that we feel disturbed?
like what.you want us to go 'eh shut up and dont talk to me luh!' isit?
in the first place you arent even sensitive enough to see that hm isnt feeling very good?
then you are obviously blind huh?
you want a showdown?
come luh.zhss vs mshs?
you never die before isit?
want say say properly luh.
say you want a showdown with him luh!
maybe everything should be left behind now.
let it be kept there first?
some things should just be left alone.

alright done[: you know.i hate vulgarities too.
but you know?when you're angry you sure you dont use it to scold ppl?
come on even i do.

uhwells.buhbye ppl[:
i love my laogong<3:D

2009-11-16T06:33:00.000-08:00

hihi[:
yay:D today is a good day.
okay accept for the fact that i was feeling very wellO.o
tmr should be fun[:
yays:D
i'm still not feeling well.damnit.
i'm tiredO.o
went down to cdc today[:
yeps[: so fun!
idk what to blog siaO.o haha.
tmr hor i sure go crazy one.
quote from yeowboon 'you're mentally unstable..at least for today'
yea i know i amO.o
can someone knock some sense into me?
i've been behaving weirdly latelyO.o
haha okayokay.
shall reply tags[:

fatin: omg!i miss you like mad manD: we'll meet soon bah[: haha okay i'll relink you soon alrights?
prudence: ahhh my god!i miss you loads too!why wouldnt you be goingD: damn i miss you and annette alot alright!!! love you too<3
huimin: sheesh i wanted to luhD: why not?D:
annabel: no luh it wont happen.trust me[: i wont lose my $10:D

okay done[:
buhbye ppl[:

2009-11-14T06:17:00.000-08:00

hello ppl[:
i cheered up[:
even though i was crying just nowO.o
lol.yay[:
co camp:D
woots.yadayada:D
haha:D co camp was super fun<33
grp 7 rocks:D

yesterday
co camp started kinda funnily as i was a crazy facilO.o
had to do a forfeitO.o
cluedo:D yea i know it was hard work.
but i guess it did worked out well right:D
woohoos[: then it was bbq[:
great thks to those who help me barbeque stuff:D
sleeping was funny.lol.

today
amazing race was fun:D but very tiring!!!!
first course: tsunami
jt and shermaine keep pouring water on me when i didnt do anything wrong!!!!
last course: obstacle course
jeremy,gheetat and gary uh!!!!!we were all soaking wet after thatO.o
break camp:D
help to clean up[:
then lunched:D
and homed:D
hmms nth to say lerO.o
buhbyes[:

2009-11-12T08:09:00.000-08:00

you're forever infront of me.
and i'm forever trying to catch up straight behind you.
have you ever realised?i was behind you all along?
guess after so long..i still dont really know you huh?
i'm always following,hoping that you will one day notice it.
but i'm tired.
there's a way of solving it.
i'll just let my heart do it.
wo hui zuo de dao de.

2009-11-12T05:26:00.000-08:00

damn it man.
maybe i shld stop using the comp for awhile.
everytime happy happy come use uh become pekchek.
waitwait.i got sth to do..
i'm sorry annabel yeo yingying!
really very sorry okay?
i let you slap me tmrD:
dont like that luh!!!

i'm feeling really tired.
everything is MY fault lor)<
cant care anymore.
i wanna sleepD: really tired.
so let's make things brief.
went out with laogong just now.
actually not really luh.
go in subway cookie together only:D
then sit at kiddy palace there talk and laugh for very long.
LOL.laugh until jaw ache.
thanks laogong[:
buhbyes[:
i'm missing too many things.far too much for me to take it.
just wanted life to be simpleD:

2009-11-11T06:37:00.000-08:00

hi ppl^^
i'm updating my blog[:
but you know..i'm not happy.
damn it luh.like crying again?!
cant stand it though.
but yea i know i'll cool down real fast now[:
no point hanging on to it right?
senior camp is on 1st dec to 4th dec.
surprisingly my mum letO.o
i miss many things you know..
yea many.god damnit.i hate crying.
i guess i'm really upset now uh.
i'm trying my best to relax.but you know you aint helping.
look.maybe i shld really just talk things out with you..
but you know i'm afraid i might be crying and screaming at you.
or worst still crying and walking away.
so i guess here's a few pointers to help you stop irritating me.

1. the first post(longlong one) wasnt even talking about you.
so in other words i didnt tell you to stop doing anything.s
o i dont think i stop you from commiting anything uh?

2. you know, all these is just about the 2 of us.
so could you pls do me a favour and stop telling the world?
and can you pls do me a favour and leave MY friends alone?
leave them out of it.before i get nasty.cause i didnt touch ANY of YOUR friends.
you know,the best thing is after you read this post i bet your gonna go haunt them or sth.
you will just be making things worst.i had the right to know you know?
what if you were me?and that my friends are your friends?
what if i did those things to you?what if i told your friends?
would you be glad?would you wanna be kept in the dark?

3. SYA is coming.i just hope that everything will be alright.
infact i wish we can be like how we use to be in RHYA.seems impossible.
but ahwells.i will keep a smiley face[:

4.i'm not angry,i dont hate you.BUT dont make me.
i still hope we can be friends.but i wont blame you if we cant.

5.look you're not the only one being hurt here alright?
so even if you wanna scold me.put yourself in my shoes okay?

6.you can keep your side of the story to ppl on your side.
i will keep mine to my side.because your friends wont understand how i feel.
they dont even know what was my explanations right?

7.look..i know i got you pretty messed up this time.
but do you mind..looking back at how you handled this?
just in case you hadnt notice anything..no other guy would have handled this this way.

8.i'm not trying to insult.i'm just saying my point of view.
and you know..can you stop scolding him?its not his fault alright?

yep kinda done.had a hard time putting it in a nicer way.
laogong wants me to cheer up[:
haha.i say this your dont tease me hor^^
just take it as i'm trying to cheer myself up kay?
hehe yea^^
i have a really nice laogong:D
super nice okay^^
plus he is so gentlemanly[x
and also HANDSOME & CUTE xDD
he uh very cheerful[:
tries all ways and means to cheer me up everytime.
and he always succeeds with one sentence[x

gotta really thank him for this period of time[:
i'm not falling in love with luh.
i just love him for being such a good laogong:D
LOL.dont get me wrong hor!
hao luh.bu yao shuo ler[:
zaijian:D buhbyes^^

2009-11-10T06:19:00.000-08:00

hello ppl[:
yay[: blogging in progress.
cl paper today was okay[:
had co meeting after that[:
so funnnnn:D
okay luh so briefly i acted my scene twice today[:
feels better today[:
like easier for me to feel the role.
shld be because i'm not feeling too happy so its a way to fa xieO.o
jiayu says its a good scene[:
yay[: its coming back:D
i mean my talent for acting:D
omg i sound more bhb.
its laogong's fault!=x
but yea.i mean it.
it feels good[: very long nvr feel this way ler.
though i'm tiredO.o
heard this song and found it really nice.
so i put as blog song^^
the lyrics dont apply to me though.
its about a guy saying that the girl said she wants to marry him.LOL.
sounds weird but its really nice[:
kay luh nth much to say ler.
buhbyes[:

oh wait tag replies:
shimin:LOL.
rongjian:haha thks[: you too:D
keith:oh lol thks[:
annabel:what?i where got dw you?D:lol happy spaming then[: i dont mind^^
adeline:hmms soon?
rongjian:OH!damn itO.o
huimin:yea you didnt you bombard me with it that's allO.o
huimin:haha thks girl[: yea you too okay?[:
done:D

2009-11-09T05:34:00.000-08:00

'so you still dont get what i really mean.pardon me for thinking that you actually know me.cause you dont.i didnt say anything about assuming that you were happy.i said those words because i clearly wanted you to stop talking about it.so i guess to you i never felt uh?i'm hurt too alright?its just that i choose to shut ...up because i feel that maybe this way things would be better.guess i was a fool to think that way.'
posted this on facebook.guess sth really spoiled my mood.
tmr cl olevels.after that got co meetingO.o
nth much bah.these days.
was talking to huimin just now.
complained about many stuff.
and yea we realised that we have many similar views.
just because we've decided to keep mum doesnt mean that we dont feel anything at all.
fine think whatever way you want!i dont care anymore.
just stop trying to instill your thinking to everyone else.
after so much that i've been trying to say.
we are back at the same spot.
who cares anyways?
just go on think that i'm flirt..think that i dont feel anything at all.and think that i like it this way.
i cant change it anyway.and well i've choose to live with it happily.
if i let it affect me & ruin my mood then its all too silly isnt it?
so yep i'll live it with a smile[:
that's what laogong thought me:D
& i just accidentally cut myself with sthO.o
uh wells blur=x
and i dreamt of amaths last night.
i think i'm getting the huimin's diseaseO.o
kay luh.need go ler.
buhbyes ppl[:

2009-11-08T06:46:00.000-08:00

hello ppl:D
i'm like finally using the comp.
woots[:
actually pass few days also can use.but horO.o
i tired until i fell asleep while waiting ot useO.o
and then i had the same nightmare for 2 consecutive days.
about being chasedO.o
by some random guy that idk who the heck it isO.o
i'm weird eh?
not my fault!!!!
sian got lotsa amths to be completed.dang.
can i like dont go sch tmr?
i hate owing mrs koh hmwkD:
sianxzxzxzxz.

oh yea went to sch ytd to prepare for co camp things.
had to like act like a mad womanO.o
for 5 times.
screamed 4times.
damn it i think i'm losing my voice soonO.o
then i left early.
to like go tpc to meet laogong[:
then we took 105 to far east to help find the prices for class hoodie.
then we walked around in search of the shops.
almost diedO.o damn tired.
in the end couldnt find any.
so we went to novena.
found a shop there.the price is like 30+?
so we continue to search.
then go bugis.still dont have.
then we anyhow walk.until dhoby ghaut.
LOL.oh yea i was partially quarrelling with my family throughout the whole thing.
actually not whole family luh.
just my sisO.o
then laogong was like having a hard time trying to cheer me up.
haha sry laogong=x
then after that finally okay ler.
then laogong went to eat long john silvers.
and i stared at him eat.
super funny!:D
laogong is really a pro at cheering me up i must say[:
after he eat we went to walk around.
then after that i go meet my family so i took the purple line.
nicenice laogong peiied me.lol.
eh ppl.i tell your uh.i call him laogong only hor.
your no need keep teasing one hor!!!!!
uh wells kay luh.gtg ler><
buhbyes[:
shall reply tag soon[:

2009-11-05T07:56:00.000-08:00

hello~
i'm bored.
realised i cooled down really fast this time.
isnt it a good thing?
today nth much luh.
was sick..then didnt go sch for half of the day=x
tmr got olevel chem spa.
i'm wearing my specs:D
no goggles man.
i'm still sickO.o
and i hope tmr can be fun[:
yay[:
okay luh nth to say ler.
oh wait get well soon laogong[:
and get well soon nuer[:(though i dont see anything wrong with her)
haha.okay need go ler[:
buhbye ppl[:

2009-11-04T06:00:00.000-08:00

hi ppl[:
i'm tiredD:
cause i'm sickD:
damnitD:
maybe not going sch tmr ._.
see how first bahO.o
its hard to make a decision.
can someone tell me which to choose?
lol.kay luh gtg ler.
buhbye ppl[:

2009-11-03T05:56:00.000-08:00

lalalalala~
this is what happens when i'm bored alrightO.o
oh my goodness i almost did sth stupid.
heng uhO.o
hmmms let's see oh yea today got chem spa[:
but sadly i burnt my finger.
now it has a blister.uhwells who cares.
but yea i still chem spa is fun[:
phy spa on the other hand make me feel like killing myselfD:
lol..but of course i didnt:D
i keep having the feeling that i forgot sth..
but what is it?
uh damn=x
there's a packet of chocolate milk in the fridge.
and i'm damn tempted to drink it.
but i'm allergic to it!
damn it luhD:
i have a sad lifeD:
nvm..hmms i'm running out of things to blog.
lol..sch was as normal today..
you know with all the teasings..yea ._.
aiyah your huh..nth better to do right?
i teach your..go entertain yourself withh jodi picoult's and nora robert's books[:
they are so frigging catchy and addictive:D
haha yep[:
hmms what else do i have to post?
i have a nice spa partner:D[valerie]
i have a nice class partner:D[qien & shimin]
i have a nice gd fren sitting infront of me:D
i have nice gd frens in manymany other classes:D
i have nice gd frens in 3e6'09:D
i have a nice laogong:D
i have a nice nu er:D
haha okay i think you ppl can see how bored am iO.o
i think i shall stop here:D
eh ppl your damn funny leh read ler neh tag!!!
haha kidding luh i do that all the time.
oh suddenly remind me of sthO.o
okay haha nth to say ler[:
buhbyes[:

2009-11-02T06:04:00.000-08:00

oh i'm actually postingO.o
lol i'm listening to stephanie sun's yuan lai ni shen me dou bu yao.
the lyrics make me feel like cryingO.o
urghhh what's my prob?
uh wells i just think that many parts of the lyrics really very meaningful.
"眼泪在你的心里只是无理取闹
以为在你身后是我一辈子的骄傲"
"我不要你的呵护你的玫瑰
只要你好好久久爱我一遍
就算虚荣也好贪心也好
哪个女人对爱不自私不奢望
我不要你的承诺不要你的永远
只要你真真切切爱我一遍
就算虚荣也好贪心也好"
dont you think so?
somehow i think i'm on the verge on losing itD:
damn itD:
i dont wanna start again.
blogger is having problemsD:
uh wells type finish then see how.
maybe i'm trying too hardD:
way far too hardD:
somethings in the world were meant to be..i shouldnt have tried...
but then again..if i hadnt tried then how would i know?
dangO.o
i could lose the world but i didnt wanted to lose you.
hah sounds familiar..but i doubt you guys know who:D
uh wells nvm i think its time i reply tags:D
hehe=x

annabel: lol okay[:
hweeshien: haha okays[:
lyn: oh haha thks[: i relink soon[: hmms tell you at gathering?
jr: haha okay[:
huimin: ohh hi girl[: great thks[:
jiaming: oh thks.
malvick: lol haha thks[:
shimin: wah you not bad uh:D thks[:
annabel: oh thks dumbdumber:D
jolynn: wah you damn on sia.4th time ler leh!thks my dear junior[:
suyi: lol you dont even know i change blog url ler can?!thks though[:
tiffany: aiyah you didnt see anything luh:D

buhbyes[:

2009-11-01T08:05:00.000-08:00

woots[:
thks my lovely dear huimin:D
she changed my blogskin for me again cause i didnt have time[:
haha okay.
saturday<3
went out with nu er and laogong[:
lol.i have a problematic nu er=x
dont tell her i said this xP
teehee[: she uh..make her lao ba wait so long not paiseh one.lol.
i'm suppose to go sleep now.lol.
hmms wait.oh so we walked around bugis[:
yay:D veh long neh go ler[:
walkwalk for quite longO.o
then went to meet 2e6'08 ppl.
nu er did many funny things that day.lol
uh wells..i ended up wearing laogong's jacket homeO.o
and my family cant stop teasing me about it.lol.
those 2 really cheered me up[:

sunday<3
go celebrate birthday with family[:
azabo sabo[: the ramen was super nice[:
& i love the dessert.lol.
okay need zao ler.mama naggingD:
buhbye ppl[:

2009-10-30T07:19:00.000-07:00

let's start the post nicely though i'm not in a good moodD:
today is 30 oct[:
happy birthday yusri[:
let's start it pleasant and see how long i can contain it...
great thks to:
jazz<3
jus tin[:
keith[rhya][:
yongsheng[:
rachel chua<33
benjamin[obs][:
rongjian<3
huimin<33
siongwoon<33
jack[:
ahda<33
yingzhi<3
jolynn<3
delia<33
malvick[:
kenny<33
yeowboon[:
dajie<33
kuan hoe<33
yusri[:
lyn<33
bel<33
tiffany<3
jiaxin<3
karin<3
huihien<3
xingqin<3
xiuhui<3
shimin<3
suyi<3
valerie<3
wawa<3
sheila<3
qien<3
juntian<3
sam<3
ron[:
er jie<33
koksoon korkor<3
alex<3
bharath[:
yiyang[:
marcus[:
brennan[:
heidi<3
sharmayne<3
shawn[:
kieron[:
glendon[:
beryln<3
danielle[:
esther<3
fakhrul[:
adeline jiejie[:
hweechiat[:
sherlyn[:
cherrine[:
yuxuan[:
puaysuan[:
ziyi[:
tricia[:
shermaine[:
oh and last but not the least...
eugene[: - the guy that i didnt really know but has the exact same birthday as me[:
same year somemore leh[: we ended up wishing each other[:
so cool right:D

done i think..hey i have stm so yea this are all based on memories.
dont blame me if i forot about youu horD:
and i'm terribly sorry if i've done so alright!

yea i promise and i swear.its the last post for you.
thanks for it yea.i'm serious.
but you know..that wouldnt change everything.
and do you know by doing these things you're hurting me more?
no you dont know what you've done wrong.
and i'm not gonna tell you.
because if i do.you're gonna change yourself.
just for me.i dont want that.
i'm not gonna stop you from trying.
but i'm just telling you no i dont hate you
yea i'm still happy to be friends with you like what i've promised
but i'm not gonna change my decision.
you know.you got me crying again..
dont assume why i cry.cause you wont ever guess it.
thks for everything though.

done[:
i need to go out tmr.
to cheer myself up[:
we'll see what i'll do then.hehexP
i need go down queenstown.
maybe i should go alone.
shall see my mood tmr.
bye ppl

2009-10-28T08:32:00.000-07:00

250th post[:
today went out[:
omg can i post this tmr?
i have lots to say[:
and my mama wants me to off compD:
but uh wells nvm[:
i will say more tmr[:
buhbye[:
2910<33

2009-10-27T08:57:00.000-07:00

hello[:
so happy now[:
too happy to sleep[:
but i shall be guai even though the person that i made a promise with sleep ler.
haha[:
i'm super happy now kays[:
rongjian knows why.haha.
hah be glad you ppl are the ones who make me happy[:
love you guys<33
siongwoon is so blur and cute!
haha shant say if not she paiseh.
happy[:
okay it sounds like i got nth better to say.
but yea i know he reads my blog.
and this is to him:
i didnt change.not a SINGLE bit.
i'm serious.maybe you dont even know me well at all.
so pls.i beg you.pls stop assuming things.
stop assuming cause it hurts.
it really does..
its like first you go around telling the world about it.
fine let it be.i cant stop you from telling anyone.
then you told them about it.
but have you EVER realised that it was just your side of the story that they have heard?
have you ever realised that what you have said affect what they think in EVERY way?
and you dont realise what you have done.
no,not at all.
i didnt said that you said that i was the one at fault.
dont you get it yet?
i'm saying this because i've finally found a way to stay happy.
so from today onwards i'm letting go of this.
but these words[above] were stuck in my mind for 2 wks.
i'm letting go of everything and start myself afresh[:
find my own happiness..^^
and trust me if you really love me.you'll be happy for me.
but somehow a feeling deep inside me feels that no you're not happy for me.
i'm not the only who thinks so.
here's a quote from me and huimin.
'if the person really love you,he or she will be contented just seeing how happy you are.
you having your happiness will be the greatest blessing for him or her.
watching you from afar,he or she will smile when he or she sees you smile[:'
yep..i've felt in before[:
i'll face everything with a smile[:
just as promised.
because now i know..this is what i want.
ohwells i will stay happy tmr[:
and look forward to the day after tmr[:
woohoos^^
buhbye[:

2009-10-26T06:32:00.000-07:00

yay[:
going airport later.
woohoo to pick daddy[:
tmr got ppl fetch me ler!
btw congratulations to all co exco[:
teehee.
october is a nice month[:
btw happy birthday to all those in this month[:
teehee[:
okay luh i got nth better to say.
need to go soon[:
buhbye[:

2009-10-25T08:03:00.000-07:00

hello[:
i'm starting to cheer up ler[:
like yea.
thks ppl[:
oh and i have to say here.
ppl make the comments they like here.
so what they want to say is up to them.
and dont quarrel on my blog alright?
&this is my blog.pls respect my decision.
tmr got sch.and tmr is 2610.
does that remind you of sth?
uh wells nvm.i just cant seem to forget any dates..
maybe i should stop here.
nth much to say anyways[:
buhbye ppl[:
love you<3

2009-10-23T08:10:00.000-07:00

hello[:
okay i'm in a better mood now..
yay[: like finally[:
but i was crying just now on the way home.
lol.i feel great now.
eh i wanna ask ppl out at the end of year!!!!!
but idk go where?!
nth to post oh wait.
to _____:
stop saying you love her..you know you dont mean love.
cause i've tried..yea you know what i mean.

to ___:
no you dont realise what you have done.
so just leave me alone alright?

haha okay.buhbye[:

2009-10-22T07:13:00.000-07:00

bad moodD:
very tired.
no appetite.
sheesh.i think i'm dying soon[:
maybe after my birthday^^
okay that was crap.i didnt mean it.
urghhhh i really dk what's my probD:
i'm really bored now.
half dead alr.
i'm feeling real weird these days.
i feel emptyO.o
not because i didnt eat but because i really cant feel anythingO.o
eh nth to blog ler leh..
my blog is so dead.
ohwells who cares.no one visits my blog anyway...
shall reply my overdue tags.lol.
btw i'm appearing offline.dont blame me.
i feel better like that.no one can see me.

okay tags[:
shimin:uh haha welcome[:
rongjian:yep..haha.
juntian:uh wth?lol okay.
kenny:haha alright thks[:
esther:oh hello!okay[: shall do it soon[:
kenny:ohmygoodness.you sound worst than me.
annabel:hello dear[: i'm bored too.why arent you online with me?D:

okay done.i'm gonna tag ppl today.so nice right[:
kay luh.buhbye[:

2009-10-21T08:04:00.000-07:00

okay calmed down alr.
much thks to ppl that i went out with today[:
lovelove 2e3'08 haha
and thks to rongjian,malvick and many other ppl.
but still i'm pissed.
seriously pissed.
so maybe ppl shld ust leave me alone..
to let me calm down somemore.
i'm really not in the mood now..
why dont you think?
if it were you how would you feel?
its not about not getting in love.
its about how your birthday is coming and everyone thinks you're the one at fault.
thrice in a row.it always happen on my birthday.just my luck.
i'm not asking for anything.
just a happy birthday.
if you cant make me happy just leave me alone alright?
shant say more.
buhbye[:

2009-10-20T07:23:00.000-07:00

i cant run,i cant hide,i cant face..
i've tried&i'm really tired..
do you know how it feels?you dont right?
did i have a choice?i dont right?

so stop scolding me..
i really had enough&infact more than enough..
its not like i dont know that i'm the 'fucking bitch' that everyone hates right?
no.i wont change my decision,i wont change my life just beacause of that..
i'm not anyone else&no,no matter what i will live with it.
even if the whole world hates me..i dont care.
too late to go back now,so just let everything be my fault..
just my fault,since everyone thinks its my fault.
stop saying that you understand me cause you really dont..
just let go of me alright?just like how i'm letting go of the world.

its time i wipe off everything,stand back up on my own,continue my path on my own..
just leave me alone..because you dont know anything so you dont have the rights to critisize...
you dont have the rights to judge..you dont have the rights to scold.
cause you really dont understand the situation.
dont act as if you know what it is and start rubbing salt on my wound..
dont act as if you know the world and start teaching me what i shld do,because i am me.
so dont try to change me..i dont need you to critisize.
i just wanted someone who understands me to help..but its okay.
i'll survive this like how i survive the other times
& even when this time,i promise to face it with a smile..
the tears just keep dropping,but i'll keep my smile going,
keep my mind thinking,keep my heart beating.
i dont need your help to come back up..because you are not of any help.

yea that's the attitude i choose to give.
typing that message to him is the attitude i choose to give.
yea i threw him that message&i want him to face the pain,the hurt alone.
that is the answer you want isnt it?
arent you happy now that i'm admitting it?
do you know the pain of being ripped & torn apart many times without even letting it heals?
do you know the pain of letting your wound bbleed till it dries?
i dont mean it physically,i meant it mentally,where the wound is where your heart is..
i really had enough..all along..i had been trying to make ppl around me smile & laugh.
but when all the smile & the laughter are gone..i realise i dont really know what i want..
i'm not really the least happy.

why does things always happen around my birthday?
i'm really tired.i just ask for this once..for me to be really happy.
can i just have my birthday in peace?

haha finish ranting.tired sia.*yawns* shall go sleep.since i promised rongjian alr.lol.
nights ppl.lol.buhbye[: oh wait thanks to hm for this afternoon[:

2009-10-17T09:09:00.000-07:00

hello peeps[:
i'm in a good mood..haha much thks to rongjian<3 and also partly huimin<33
yep[: i was out today crying..
i was alone.hehheh then i just walk around randomly.
super bad mood.huimin<33 knows why[:
but anyways after that i cheered up cause before going home i went to meet him.
then i rant to him like dk what.
and he peiied me wait for train.lol.
oh and i wanna eat xiao long bao[:
i'm eating candele cake now[:
super nice[: celebrating dajie[:'s birthday now.
woohoo[: she doesnt read my blog so no point wishing her here.
lalalala[:
okay luh shall go now.
buhbye[:

2009-10-16T08:22:00.000-07:00

urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.i'm damn pissed now alright..
feel like killing some ppl.
exams are like finally done..some peace would be great.
so yea to some ppl who has nh better to do..dont come blurting crap to me.
i'm not in the mood now.
ah wells i shall shut ppl who are irritating soon.hehe.
getting back to my post.
let's start from last week..
hehe cant rmb anything.oh wait
happy belated birthday yingjie<333333333333333
& also happy belated birthday rongjian<333333333333333
see i'm not biase they have equal number of hearts.
suppose to wish them last week but i couldnt use comp so yea..
then let's continue to this week...
exams are okay..but i might flunk them.
thursday is kinda fun..other than the fact that i'm not in a gd mood that day.
today is funnnnnnnnn[:
went out with darlings[:
ahbel,ahda,siongwoon,vikki<333333333333333
oh and sry huimin we didnt mean it.cheer up alright?
we watched cloudy with a chance of meatballs.
sooooooo funney[:
uh wells.then we walked around....
then me and bel went to plaza sing!
ddred<333333 like finally.
haha my skills are damn rusty..but my reactions are a little faster now.
yay[:
ah wells buhbye[:

2009-09-27T06:17:00.001-07:00

can things go back to how they use to be before?
letting go and holding on..what's the difference?
if there is a difference,then which is better for everyone?
i just want to be me.
i just want to find myself back.
done so many things..was everything worth it?
i really dont know.
i use to love not going to school.
but yet now i'm sick and i cant go school tmr..
i dont feel a single bit of happiness.
tell me..what's life about?
why is that everyone seem so happy,and their life seems to be filled with laughter..
while i dont see mine the same way as their's?
no this isnt about anyone..
its just a thought..maybe because i'm not feeling well today.
i just find life unfair.
or maybe its more of love being unfair.
some ppl have done more than they suppose to.yet they get nth..
ohwells i shall find some way to cheer up..

2009-09-13T10:44:00.000-07:00

somehow my blogskin is okay again[:
yay:D i'm tiredD:
shall go sleep soon its like 1.45 and tmr got schD:
sheesh..doing ne stuff.
headacheD:
but anyway thks for the last minute stuff[:
you guys rocks[:
woohoo[:
gtg.bye[:

2009-08-31T21:53:00.000-07:00

cant find a blogskin that i likeD:
sheesh.any suggestions?
i'm like dyingD:
i still cant find the blogskin that i've used in sec1
the one that i really liked alotD:
frigging hellD:
god damnit someone help meD:

2009-08-26T08:44:00.000-07:00

ignore the darn background.
lol.looking for new skin.
haha dont visit my blog for now[:

HELLO[x

2009-08-23T06:25:00.000-07:00

i'm finally updating[x
i'm bored.dear isnt replying meO.o
haha that pig xP
i miss him alotD:
he broke my record luh.
lol.kay gtg soon.
reply tags:
mal: lol.i see...but he's too stupid and didnt succeed right?
annabel: haha half yes half no xP
kieron: lol no prob[:
sam: wait[:i link soon[:
mimi: thanks girl[:
jiaming: yea luh!you still there sayD:
yongsheng: oh hi fishball:D
amanda: lol.uh sry girl.i see how soon luh[:
woohoo done[:
btw its suppose to be 9.34pm and not 6.25.hehe

2009-08-17T08:50:00.000-07:00

blabberblabber.
i was super frustrated for a moment just now.
and super pissed too.
pms most probably.its coming againD:
damnit.i'm gonna have terrible moodswings luhD:
hate it.cause i cant control how i want to feelD:
if i get angry with some of you i didnt do it on purpose kayDD:
i want dearD:very badly.okay i think i'll see him tmr so i shldnt be so upset.
cause there are ppl out there that is worst than meD:
i wish everyone can be happy.just a random thought.
but yea.it would be great if everyone is happy[:
so little red riding hood gave the big bad wolf one word replies.
because her grandma teach her that she shouldnt talk to strangers.
then the three little pigs tried their best to stop the big bad wolf on doing what he intended.
and the big bad wolf deide to stalk the three little pigs.
hahahaha.okay this kinda cheer me up.
okay needa go ler.
reply tags:
jiaming: aiyah you want admit dumb then dont come scold vulgarities luh.
especially not on my blog,or i swear i'll ban you:D
huimin: yea sure dumbdumb<3let's hope we can stay like that.be in the best of your mood[:
mal: yea exactly i agree xP
dear: hi dear<3.i miss youD: love you too[x

wah sian got hmwk.sheesh.gtg byebye[:

2009-08-15T11:56:00.000-07:00

woohooooooooooooooooooooooo[:
hello[:
i'm boredD:
can someone entertain me or sth?
i'm going crazy with the boredomD:
and i want dear badlyD:
see luh ytd go out with me then now make me miss you so muchD:
you pigD: *points at dear*
hahahahahaha.okay i'm kidding.
i love him too much to blame him for that[:
blogskin nice anot huh?
hehehehehehehe[:
okay i should seriously stop crapping.
reply tags:
amanda: bleahs xP
darren: haha kay[:
jiaming: yay i'm glad you know[:

okay lalalalala byebye[:

2009-08-13T17:53:00.000-07:00

haha suppose to be doing elearning now.
but i'm boredD:
but i shant waste time now.going out later.
yay[:
uh okay shall reply tags and run:D
reply tags:
kenny: oh haha jiayous[:
mimi: hi dear[:
jiaming: dont act smart luh.
fakhrul: oh thks[:

2009-08-01T06:31:00.000-07:00

i'm boredD:
i'm getting my stml.
i cant rmb my passwords.
wth?!
urgh i wanna change blogskin again.
heh xP
reply tags:
huimin: yea exactlyD:
passer-by: other than you?who?
jiaming: no leh is ben dont know who is dear.
kenny: thks[:gd luck to you in...
rongjian: lol purple is nice :D
shimin: lol fine be that way.
esther: lol they name me wanzhuang's junior no. 2

kay gtg.
bye[:

2009-07-25T11:19:00.001-07:00

hey hyper green beans[:

i just made a blog.its screwed though.

no time to do changing and stuff.

still at cousin's house but will do it soon[:

http://hypergreenbeansx3.blogspot.com

yup that's the add.

if you guys wanna know the log in and stuff to help me with it ask me for the user and psw.

thanks[:

love you guys[:

2009-07-25T10:41:00.000-07:00

urgh damnit i forgot to reply tags.

tags reply:

fakhrul: eh stop bullying me luhD: haha.

kieron: okay hah when i'm not so tired kay?

dear: hah i'm glad you even came.nth to be sorry about:D

mal: oh hi hah[:

dear: love you<3

dad: lol where's mum?

h1n1: lol lame luh keith and fakhrul xP

jiaming: lol cannot uh?

kieron: what?O.o

ben: yea luh who uh?idk also leh xP

dear: hah wait there's 2 person i dk who isit either xPP

passer-by:eh 2 mins got difference kay.if someone walks out of the road 2 mins earlier they might just get bang and be lying in the hospital kay!who the hell are you anyway?

kay done[:

bye[: wait i like it better when ppl tag me with their names[:

2009-07-25T09:27:00.000-07:00

woots[: i updated.its counted as sunday already:D

so its 26july[:

happy birthday kenny[:

its 1 mth after we break camp alreadyD:

so here is a post for c11.and for some other individuals..

c11:

1 mth 5days ago,we met.

being strangers that barely knew each other.

but still,we mixed around,made friends and love each other[:

each of us went there as an individual that almost refused to mix..

but came back as a grp and love each and everyone inside the grp like one family.

talking to each other seemed like the weirdest thing we would do in camp on the first day.

yet,we did it[:

overcome the awkwardness between each other.

from barely knowing each other,to crying and hating to leave each other.

none of us would have ever predicted that we'll make it out there.

now,so many events for rhya is organised..

we meet up often[:

often enough to mke sure that each other wouldnt be forgotten.

so c11,promise me that in the future,everyone must remember rhya,c11.

we'll always have each other:D

we love c11

cause you're so fun and nice.

we need c11

to rock our lovely nights

we love c11

trust in us when we say

we will have fun here

cause we will make new friends

and we would wonder if this would ever end

so let me thank you facils

let me thank you.

rmb this cheer okay guys?

i dont have much time so actually i wanted to blog about all the 4 grp..

but i will summarise it since i got no time.

to younique,bluebulls,red hot chilli peppers:

though i barely know you ppl in the camp..

but we got to know each other after the camp in the events.

and now i believe if we had a chance to go back,i believe the camp would be even better.

love you guys[:

finally to hyper green beans:

omg guys i miss you hell lot.

rmb the first day we just started mixing round,not many of us really spoke up.

then after getting our grp name,grp cheer,we were trying so much to work together.

then the dinner didnt work out well.

but you know sth,at least we did it on our own.

and there was the umbrella dance.

i could still rmb the steps.

maybe we did looked a little stupid in the dance.

but at least it worked out well[:

and we did it alone:D without our dearest facils.

and there was our teambuilding games.

we came in second:D

dont we rock?:D

i rmb how reluctant i was to leave on the last day.

i'll rmb the times we shared:D

i love you guys<3

dear<3:

we've known each other for only 1month and 5days you know dear?

and we've been together for 14days[:

rmb how we got to know each other in camp?

i rmb how i first notice you in camp.heh.

i rmb the first time we spoke to each other.

i rmb the first time we laughed together.do you?

i rmbed you and alvin knocking on doors to find out which rm i was in.

haha.i rmbed my shoe was too small for you.

then you asked for my number.

and i started smsing you at night.

my frens said we were always together in camp.haha.

its good to have you here[:

nice to have you to talk to[:

now i know there will always be a shoulder for me to lean on,

a ear for me to rant to,

a person for me to hug when i cry,

and a you for me to love[:

i love you dear[:

annette&prudence:

hey girls[:

rmb how we started talking to each other since the first day?

how we sticked to each other since the first day?

how we told each other our secrets?

you guys were the ones that was there for me throughout the camp.

right beside me when i was having my terrible headache.

i love you two man[:

the way i cried at the last day was bad.

and the main reason was you two.

i miss you two alot.rmb how we slept in the tent together?

how we talked about our secrets till we fell asleep.

camp wouldnt be so great without you two[:

my rmmates: athena,natasha,abigail,veena:

rmb the first night when we stayed up late and talk to each other about random stuff?

i thought that we wouldnt mix well cause we all came from different grps.

but yet i was having so much fun with you guys[:

especially athena and natasha..

we shared so many secrets,so many random things.

i rmb after everyone fell asleep on the last night..

i cried.cause i really miss guys.

i couldnt imagine not waking up to find you guys there..

victoria:

i didnt get to know you well in camp.

we only knew each other after camp.

yet we were so close.

well at least we shared many of our secrets with each other and promised not to tell.

we seemed like we were on the same boat..haha.

so let's hope everything goes well okay?

wish you luck with your dog xP

huimin&winnie:

i wouldnt have went for camp without you 2 man.

i swear you 2 played the largest part.

i rmb on the first day,the 3 of us wanted to back out of camp.

cause we all felt damn weird.

we thought this wouldnt go well.

but on the last day,the 3 of us cried like dont know what.

see you guys in sch then[:

mshs guys that we meet almost everyday:

hah.jokers[:

we only got to know each other after camp that well luh.

especailly yeowboonxP and gomathi.haha.

hope our friendship goes on[:

facis:

without you guys,c11 wouldnt be what we are now[:

you guys rock[:

you ppl tried your best to lead us and tried to make us our best[:

love you guys[:

hyper green beans cheer:

we are mean[mean]

we are green[green]

we are the mean green fighting machine[yea]

hyper green beans for the win:D

red hot chilli peppers cheer:

red hot chilli pepper

yes i want,yes i want.

but who is the redred hothot chilli pepper?

i sat red you say hot

i say red you say hot.

i say red,hot,red,hot.

chilli peppers!!wooh.

younique cheer:

who are we?

we are who?

who are who re who are we?

we are we are we are who?

who are who are who are we?

we are we are we are who?

who are we?we are who?

ohhhhh younique!

bluebulls cheer:

b-l-u-e-b-u-l-l

bluebulls

ahwoohahwoohahwooh!

done i think.

if i missed out someone feel free to tell me.

gtg.bye[:

2009-07-22T07:36:00.000-07:00

i'm blogging for dear actually.i miss himD:
hmms can i update soon?no time now.
reply tags soon too[:
i love dear<3
bye ppl[:

2009-07-17T08:00:00.003-07:00

i'm updating[x
yay like finally[:
the sad thing is there is too much to say.
so can i cut it short?
i love dear<3
heh.tmr got norc.
rayson going seh.
can go there find him later.woots[:
today is so fun:D
sosososososososo fun<33
damn funny also.
though there was a point.
but it was over soon enough to not spoil anyone's mood.
dear very sweet[: thks[:

tags reply:
xiuhui: oh hi[:
rongjian: lol yea.
prudence: lol sry dear.can give me the link again?
jiaming: lol yea.hais.
shimin: uh wow that's so helpful uh.
huixian: to meet my fren lor[x

2009-07-10T09:23:00.000-07:00

me very tiredD:
okay i'm gonna sleep.
i cant figure out life.
was so upset today till i cried luh.wth.
i'm missing too many ppl too muchD:
okay shall blog in details soon.
uh reply tag the next time too.
or else mama scoldD:

2009-07-07T09:07:00.000-07:00

screwed!messed up!
damnitD:
its 12 and i haven finish half my work.
wth.i feel damn screwed now luh.
idk wth i want actually.
what if everything happen again?
will i be able to take the pain over again?
what if i cant?
and i'm in pain everytime i see himD:
i bet he dont know it.
i'll blog a complete post someday when i'm not rushing.
heh.
bye[:

tag replies:
annette: yea[: love you too[x
annabel: yay[:
jimmy: hmm okay luh..
jiaming: lol thks.
natasha: yea sure love[: is this the correct one?
jiaming: lol i think i am.
tanhui: yea same[: hyper green beans[: love you guys[:
lycia: ohh[x thks[x
esther: yea sure[: wanzhuang's junior xP

2009-07-05T04:48:00.001-07:00

so boredD: so screwedD:
fainted once and almost faint the second time.
almost cant go tmr.
tmr going out.i need to finish my workD:
idk luhD:
so messed up now.
still dizzy nowD:
i'm kinda upset.i dont know where am i now.
lost my way and somehow the compass doesnt help.
cause this time you werent there to help it work.

is this what you want too?
would you cry if i died?
tell me what am i to you?

2009-07-04T08:45:00.000-07:00

i realise my blog songs usually represent what i thinks.
heh.today was great.
reallyreally great.
except the fact that i said there and listened to ppl talk about religious stuff.
i'm a free thinker okay.so yea.
lunched after the stuff with annette<33,jingmin<33,yeowboon<33,benedict<33
damn funny.i was laughing so mad and they taped down my laughter.
and called me wanzhuang's junior no. 2.
we created the word govathi.
lol.and yeow boon<33 thought it was raining whenever we looked at the waterfall.
lol.today was benedict<33's mum's birthday.
but he didnt buy anything for herD:
so bad.lol.

i'm still feeling messed up all over.
i dont seem to even understand myself.
i dont know what i want.
like seriously, i think i'm getting more and more over-sensitive this few days.
and i'm damn afraid of falling in love now.
but i'll hang on there.i'm not going to fall again.
and i finally understand that in love,
you'll never be able to take as much as you give.
and in a relationship,there is always one that love the other more than how the other love back.

i'm trying my hardest,and the hardest part is letting go.
let's not pretend that you're alone tonight,i know she's there.
there's many things i wanna say to you,but i dont know how.
i dont believe that anybody feels the way i do,about you now.
and yet its the time to say goodbye again.
and its time for me to act like i'm alright.

2009-07-03T09:18:00.000-07:00

today's sch was okay..
mr ong made me chiong my chem for 2 nights but didnt tell us to hand in.
make me so tired.
this post is going to be a short one.
tmr waking up at 5.30 again.
i think i'm doing a long term suicidal plan.
i didnt eat dinner today.
had gastric on my way home.lol.
and i almost got bang by a car.again.
i swear one day i'll seriously get banged.
just finish bathing.can you imagine i reached home at 11+
and my mum didnt scream at me:D

today's party at arena was great:D
the place was really cool.
but i wasnt high.infact i was kinda moody.
but i know i wasnt the only one.
but it was really great to meet them again.
i missed everyone of them.
i wanna go slp nowD:
i promised someone to slp early anyways.
lol bye[:
cause i finally realise i'm nth to you
cause i finaaly realise i dont hold any special roles in your heart.
cause i finally realise you didnt trust me all along.

2009-07-02T07:33:00.000-07:00

tireddddddD:
damn i chionging hmwkD:
super tired luh
i'm sleeping at 3 and waking up at 5.30
i think i'm dying soon or sth.
today was uh great[:
but yet tiring.
kays gtg.
will reply tags soon[:
how not to look back even if no one believes us
when it hurts so much sometimes not having you here.

2009-06-28T07:34:00.000-07:00

hey fellow hyper green beans[x
i'm a blog for you guys soon.
would your prefer blogger or livejournal?
heh.i'm missing camp alot.
and i'm missing you alot dear..yea i am.
tmr's sch..gah i dont wanna go back.
the stress is seriously coming backD:
wahD: but i'll see the campers tmr[x
isnt it great?:D
and i'll see my frens too[:
this is the first hols that i dont look forward to going back sch.
lol.cause i had so much fun:D
my sch bag is heavyD:
today we celebrated alyssa's birthday.
so..............
happy early birthday alyssa[x
why cant we dont go to sch like phsD:
i'm not in a good mood now.
and i'm missing someone like mad.damnit.
gtg cause tmr waking up at 5.30.
lol.but if i off my comp now i'll drag till 1 xP
hehheh.

bye[:
it breaks here,it ends here.
just like my heart,there will be a gap that will never be filled up again.
we made a promise we broke the promise.
if you were to make it again i'm not sure if i will.
tell me,is there an easier way out of this?
i'm reallyreally tired now...

2009-06-27T07:38:00.000-07:00

i'm missing camp so much that i cried today.
lol.i feel weird not seeing athena<33,natasha<33,abigail<33,veena<33 when i wake up.
like super weird.
then eating breakfast was another.
no annette<33.no prudence<33.no hyper green beans<333D:
damn itD:
no cheers,no nothing.it just feels really really weird.
no fakhrul's teddy bear cheer
no ben and vathi jokes
no laughter no crying competitions
no hyper green beans cheer
no laughing for 1 whole min
no hanging out with annette and prudence
no talking to athena and natasha in the rm
no random talks in the rm
i just feel damn weird without these things.

i rmb on the first day.
me huimin and winnie was complaining.
we all so felt so distant in the grp.
then i rmbed mixing around with annette and prudence.
i rmbed how much i felt like going home on the first day.
i rmbed how hyper green beans werent united on the second day.
i rmbed that horrible dinner we made.
i wouldnt mind eating it anymore.
i miss campfire.
i miss free hug sessions.
even with ppl we didnt know,we hugged each other so tightly.

oh wells shall stop talking about it or i'm gonna start crying really badly.
tmr...........
yep.i'm damn scared now.idk whyD:
what if it really heppens?
idk..luh....D:
___ _ ____ ____ _'_ __ ____ ____ ___D:
what's my prob?

shall stop here.
bye[:

2009-06-26T08:34:00.000-07:00

i'm back[x
but i'm not happy,i'm missing camp already.
like omg we are even starting sch in like 2 days?
camp was really really great:D
great thks to:
annette<33,prudence<33,donna<33,eva<33,shifa<33,tan hui<33,azida<33,veena<33,sree<33
benedict woo(ben)<33,fakhrul<33,alvin<33,indra<33,udit<33,benedict ling<33,fabian<33,bryan<33
and not forget the other grps: you-nique<3,blue bulls<3 and red hot chilli peppers<3.
i'm too tired to describe the camp.lol.
let's do it some other day.
heh.i'm going to self-entertain.
i might go offline but i wont sleep early.
so feel free to sms me still.lol.
bye[x

HYPER GREEN BEANS ROCKS[x

2009-06-20T11:18:00.001-07:00

i'm going off now though i'm not sleeping lol.
most probably going to read my bk again.lol
i'm not the least tired luhD:

okay bye[x

2009-06-20T10:30:00.000-07:00

talked to yufong just now.
lol.he still haven get over teasing me with the nickname fishball.
told him i got darker after obs and he called me fried fishball T.T
i kinda miss yogD:
i wanna go back.rayson and vernier is so funny luh:D
i wanna go back childcare.lol.
i kinda miss travis=x
but i still miss davian,gaku,nadyne,javier more.
davian is so cute:D
you know i think when me and huimin switch, i'll still be thinking of davian.
i miss him too much.lol.
i miss campteen too.
its so darn fun:D
i miss rachael and laurenD:
richelle too.
i miss obs too.
especially waking up early and telling noi my secrets.
trekking was great while talking to her.so fun[x
i dont feel like sleeping so early.
cause this few days have been sleeping at 3 or 4.
i go self entertain ler.
bye:D

2009-06-20T08:20:00.000-07:00

211:D yay[:
okay today is a very bad day.
i cried 5 times.
tried to stop but somehow i couldnt.
the tears just keep coming out.
was super pissed off can?
quarrelled with mummy,daddy and jiejie.
but i have to say sth.
you have stm doesnt mean i didnt ask for your permission okay.
uhD: i wanted to put coloured hair extensions this hol.lol
left one week put also no use.
somehow everything i do reminds me of that idiotic bitch's slutty ways.
zzzzzzzzzzzz.nvm i'll get over it.
i dont wanna see a psychiatrist again okay nor a counsellor.
lol.i'm bored.
doing research for el project.
anyways,can someone help me download songs?
i need helpD: my comp stupid virus protection thing doesnt allow me toDDD:
1 week and 1 day till alyssa's birthday celebration.
kenny is coming:D
uh i go do project ler.
maybe update later.
bye:D

why arent you online?

2009-06-19T09:39:00.000-07:00

sometimes i really wander.
where do i belong?
why do i feel so weird everytime i see someone?
its as if i couldnt blend in with them.
and everytime,i keep trying my best to the do things infront of ppl.
he said to me:dont try to not make mistakes,because then it wont be you.
yea i know that too.
but i keep changing,till i'm so messed up that i really dont understand myself.
lol.i went back into my emo business by watching videos that make me cry.
like ye zi,yi zhi hen an jing,zhen de.
i wanna play game lol.
shall go self entertain.

bye:D

2009-06-19T00:18:00.003-07:00

blahblah okay i'm suppose to be typing my cl
but i'm lazy.hate typing cl.
wah sian i just realise i regret a lot of things sia.
btw bitch,i'm not so desperate.
yea..understand?unlike you,i'm not as desperate.
yep.so shut-the-hell-up[x thank you.
i'm bored.there are barely anything to do now.
gah shall blog later then.
bye[x

2009-06-18T08:44:00.000-07:00

hello:D
2e3'08 gathering.
hmmm boring cause i merely stoned and watch them play.
you want details?
go huimin's blog again:D
or bel's:DDDDDDDDDD
and me and bel saw _____!
omg:D
lol.so funny luh[x
anyways,
happy birthday royson[x

6c'06 gathering.
i'm sorry my deariesD:
i'll let you guys smack me as hard as possible the next time we meet.
especially rach,lyn,delia.

obs,marco polo'09 gathering
omg super funny.laughed nonstop.
especially the pictures part.
i have to thk them alot.
they left me in a great mood on the way home.

cant stand it ler luh>(
bitch>(
bully meDDDDD:
stfu luh.nth gd comes out of your mouth.
so close that ugly gap of yours.
btw you look really retarded when you smile.
so dont try to act pretty.
and your what-so-ever-attention-seeking actions are totally stupid.
next time do it infront of the mirror first.
stop acting cute too.
its irritating.still dare say me.
i've seen through all your tricks.
and i'm ready to let the world know.
i wouldnt f-ing care even if they dont believe me.
because sooner or later they will see it.
just like how we all did.
___ _____ ___ ____ ___ __ ___ ___ ___ __?
bloody bitch>(
i tried to forgive and forget.
it was stupid for me.
you know,everytime i think of it,i'll curse that you get bang by car?
go ahead you can curse me too.
it's not like i care.
cause i think i'm far better off as dead.
dont shed crocodile tears during my funeral though.
i'll wake up and puke.
and now,you are making things worst.
adding oil to fire.
come luh spray deodorant.
i make sure you chao da.
idiot)<
you go die luh.
btw,just let this small quarrel start it off.
and we'll see,on this very blog,shall be everything.
dont blame me,i need to warn ppl for your bitchy and slutty ways.
before they fall for it.i'm sure they'll thk me[:
some may think that i'm lying.some loyal ppl will side you.
so?big deal?
a leader must do what is right and not what that is popular[x
i didnt mean i was a leader.
but i dont mind being the outcast.
aint i that already one at the start?
since sec1?
i wont forget anything..since the very start..
so watch out and pray that we wont have an open argument.
i know every word that you would say when things happened.
i predicted it.but you wont predict me.
i wont be nice when it comes to this.
cause you werent.
next time before you open your mouth..
think of what a sucker you are first.

okay done[:
i go do cl ler.
byebye[x

2009-06-17T09:43:00.000-07:00

sth is wrong with me today.lol.
no one realised i guessed.
i dont know luh.kept crying.
lol i only told kenny.
i did pretty stupid things today okay.
so he was like.
haiyo need bring you go fun fullday to forget everything.
but i doubt it works.
i'm tiring myself out for some reasons i dont even know.

i forgot how to spell pour just now.can you believe it?
and i poured hot water into the icecubes maker without realising.
what's my prob?
need to go kovan,then pasir ris then dhoby tmr.
let's hope i wont get bang by a car.
btw ppl,if you see me in a black face tmr,
dont over react.

bye[:

2009-06-17T08:16:00.000-07:00

203rd post.
i'm bored.and in a kinda bad mood.
didnt have much appetite just now.
ate half of what i eat usually.
feel like crying...but still try to put on a smile.
tmr have 3 gatherings.

why do i feel so much like dying now?
i dont feel like going either of them tmr.
what's my problem?

the comp isnt helping.
it doesnt allow me to download stuff.
i'm deeply depress now.god damn it.
like there is sth wrong happening now.
i'm still reading jodi picoult's change of heart.
lol.i kinda get the story.
but my sis say its kinda hard to understand.
i finished that frigging chinese bk.lol.
i did the comic and the commentary.
i still cant figure out chem.zzzzzzzz.
there is a pile of chem notes on my table and i'm staring at them everyday.
stupid sch collect file and tell us do hmwk.zz.
i'm trying to cheer myself up.anyone has a way?

hmm shall stop here.
reply tags.
huimin: lol i need someone to jiu me now first.
sam: no problem dear<3 love you always[x
i'm starting to cry when i hear my blog song.
you really left me no choice this time.
its towering over me.so hard till i can barely breathe.
where are you?

2009-06-16T07:43:00.000-07:00

202 post.
lol nth to do.hairdresser out of singapore.
how to cut hair>(
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
i'm frantically chionging my hmwk okayD:
heard some ppl havent even started.
my main point of this post is to reply tags actually.
lol.and i really miss davianD:

justtin: lol whatever luh.
8D: hi vikki:D i miss youD:
jasmine: yea lol.
ken: hellooooooooooooo[x

i'm suppose to be helping my sis with her audi account.lol.
opps><

2009-06-14T08:54:00.000-07:00

my 201 post.
lol like finally.
i really miss childcare alot.lol.
huimin made me cry just now.
she ask me if javier would miss her and cry.
then we started asking each other.
then i cried.lol.
i miss my dear davian.
i want him backD:
lol maybe i shall go help my sis train her audi character.

wait tags reply.
i finally remembered.
sokkuan: thks[:
huimin: cause i love davian more[: gaku bullied me luhD:
justtin: i am?
sokkuan: lol but it looks nice.yea i miss it alot.
jasmine: lol.ali the bird?

2009-06-13T09:22:00.000-07:00

lol see i forget my tags again.
shimin: lol you wont get it luh my dear girl.
huimin:__piong:D yay:D lol.

i am going to share my childcare favourites with loh huimin:D aka dumbdumb.
we will take turns and think of each and one of them for a month[:
so huimin start with gaku<33 and i start with my deardear davian<333
heh.
bye[:

2009-06-13T08:40:00.000-07:00

pls dont read this if you are not him.
pls.cause i wont mean the same to everyone.
and this post might make some sad,some happy[?]

here goes[you told me to do it]

the camera can capture anything but happiness.
those where we shared our happy times together can be captured but not the feelings in our heart.
i remember you once told me,those warmth from him wasnt meant for me,so why should i care?
that was what made me walk through and also give up.
it was you,who brought you through the darkness and made me understand that there were still someone who wanted me.
it was you,who accompanied me every night when i cried and told you about him.
it was you,who made me understand the meaning of life when i felt so much like dying.
it was you,who told me"there will always be setbacks in your life,but i'll be there to overcome each and everyone of it with you."
have you forgotten them all?
is the box that was once filled with our memories now empty?
you didnt answer me when i asked you if you love me.
am i suppose to believe that you still love me so much that you dont want to lie to me,or that you are no longer trying to save anything in this relationship?

i remembered those days where you sat with me on the bench and listen to songs like symphony,when you're gone,river flows in you,我怀念的 and so on...do you?
do remember what you said to me then?
so what does you're not sorry,说好的幸福呢,如果我变成回忆 means to you now?

are we ending it here now?
7months,261008 isnt anything anymore?
she told me not to cry.
she told me its not worth it,but i knew if it would have been her,she would be in a worst state than me.
i am glad i didnt break them up there,then.
i am glad that we are still best friends.
you were there when me and her quarrelled,now she is here when me and you quarrell.
is this how this is going to end?

i remember a similar scenario of us the last time round.
and that time,i thought we had end there,and i had to say.
the feeling was not only pain.
i remember almost stepping out onto an open main road before my school councillor came and tap me asking if i was alright.
i was grateful he did that.
i remember you calling to say sorry,telling me not to cry when the tears keep flowing out.
you neednt see me cry,you knew i was.
then i remember the gathering we had.
where you held me so tightly in your arms,hugging me.
you said it was your fault,you told me you wouldnt ever leave me hanging there again.
never again...
then what is it now?
let me ask you again one last time.
do you still love me.

okay i'm done.
i'll wait for the answer.
at the same time,i think there is someone waiting for mine.
lol.i anyhow guess derh.
but yea..shall watch and see.
this is my life.10 years down the road,it will still be mine.
bye[:

2009-06-12T20:09:00.000-07:00

lol i always forget reply tags.
annabel: hahs[: imyD:
shimin: lol i think it rhymes.
yee en: lols hahs imyD:
jimmy: oh hi.
syafiq: oh thks[:
huimin: lol _piong_piong.right?

eh must remember to remind me to transfer pics.
i mean those that read this post.lol.

2009-06-12T19:48:00.000-07:00

urgh i did a really long draft but i dont feel like posting it.
i mean it.its for someone,but i guess he doesnt visit my blog anymore.
maybe i shld fold in into a letter and give it to him.

the new lift is frigging me out.
cause i keep hearing bells.lol.
i'm missing childcare alot lol.and its only one day.
yesterday was great.ms foujiah was back.
she and miss davi was really funny.
somehow travis was more well behave yesterday.
much due to ms foujiah's presence.
davian<3 and nadyne<3 wasnt thereD:
greatly sadded okayD:
i want davian<333333DDDD:
i miss davian koh<3aka macho
i miss nadyne<3aka meimei
i miss gaku<3aka champion
i miss javier<3[the one who always carry his bobo]
i miss yikang<3
i miss claire<3aka claire bear
i miss sihui<3
i miss han<3
lol you see.
i miss bel<3
i miss ahda<3
i miss huimin<3
i miss siongwoon<3
i miss shimin<3
i miss suyi<3
i miss wawa<3
i miss vikki<3
i miss valerie<3
i miss sheila<3
still.. lol.

cant post pics of my top fav childcare kidsDD:
but you wanna see pics we took during wedding and childcare
can go huimin's blog.lol
i lazy put.hmm her link is just there.
<------ [okay somewhere that side.lol]
bye.might update tonight.

2009-06-10T08:14:00.001-07:00

wait i forgot about replying tags.lol.
huimin: come luh.i scared you uh[: but i think i smack you more:D
amanda: ahda<3 i wont[: sad didnt get into same grpD:
jimmy: hmm link ler.lol.yea.pro right[:
noi: omg<33333 imy tooD: tc[:
yee en: lol i already did<3[:
jimmy: lol.wings hard ler mah?
jasmine: glad you know i am.heh<3

okay done.wait.
happy veryvery belated birthday my dear suyi<3333
so sorryD:

2009-06-10T07:34:00.000-07:00

blogger is making me crazy.
i swear it isD:
oh wells shall cut short some stuff.
i miss obs.alot.
i mean it kays.
especially my tent mates.
but i'll see jas and beryln in sch.
i miss noiD:
i miss waking up with her early in the morning to batheD:
i miss telling her what i'm thinking.
i miss everyone in the camp.
sian they having marco polo gathering and i'm not even sure if i can go.
but i really wanna go.very badly.
shall see mama's mood.

to him:
so let's go back to square1.
the same old story,played twice.
maybe this time is different.
we are really letting go this time.
and i'm still saying the same thing.
if you'll feel better,i'll let go.
just like the song by s.h.e.
everything will be alright in the end.
just make sure this time when we meet,
you wont pull my hand and tell me our memories.
stop telling me what we are facing.
because i know,i'll cry.
tears are coming out already.
what is this call?love?
is that it?i guess it changed.
so let's just let go...
cause this time,i'm really really tired...

okay i'm like having mixed emotions now.
but they are everything but happy.
and the guilt is overwhelming me.
wth had i done?idk.
i hate my blur character kay.
cause i nvr really get stuff tell at least 2min later.

childcare was great.i mean it.
though it was tiring and i have a problematic child here.
call travis.i dont really like him.
keep screaming.if i go crazy,its his fault.
but so far everything is great.
great thks to shimin<3,huimin<3,tricia<3,shermaine<3.
the kids and toddlers there are really cute.
cant upload pictures though.
cause we need to understand what their parents will feel.

i love nadyne:D
i love gaku[:
i love davian aka macho[:
i love javier[:
the rest are okay though.but these are my fav[:
i'm sharing these bfs and gfs of mine with huimin kay.
i love bel<3 aka dumbdumber,i love huimin<3 aka dumbdumb aka flamingo.
i love ahda<3 aka a-man-duh,i love siongwoon<3[that cat lover].
i love vikki<3,i love wawa<3 aka crane.
i love shimin<3 aka duck papa,i love suyi<3 aka chicken mama.
i love valerie<3 aka mother hen,i love sheila<3 aka sparrow.
these are specific ones[:
the non-specifics one are those that i love most of them not all.
usually only 1 i dont like.
i love 6c'06[that forever supportive class]
i love 2e3'08[that lovely rebellious class]
i love s6 cluster'08[that funny boardgame grp with other schs]
i love monopoly challenge'08[that interesting bunch of students from other sch]
i love campteen'08[that wild and cooperative bunch]
i love yog[lol,that fun bunch]
i love obs,marco polo'09[the greatly missed bunch]

see[: those on top are the dumbdumb family,2e3'08 clique,bird family:D
things are mess up all over still.
but i know there are ppl behind me.
and i know i need to be behind ppl.
love you sam<3[:
船到桥头自然直..
i believe in it.do you?
bye ppl[:

2009-06-08T08:03:00.001-07:00

back from obs.turned chao da.lol.
not much time to update.
shall do a brief one first.
obs was really great[:
got into marco polo<33333
met lovely ppl like:
beryln<3,jasmine<3,justtin<3-other class of zh.
sokkuan<3,sul<3,jimmy<3,clarence<3-yuying
noi<3,syafiq<3,zack<3,ben-pioneer
yeeen<3,yiming<3,rid<3,tiranna<3-juying

yep camp was reallyreally great and nice with them.
though it was tiring,they made it better[:
love them lots sia[:
shall update details tmr if i can use comp.heh.
got too much hmwk ler luh.
yep bye ppl.i go slp ler.

-you said it :D,you said it.
-and i said that's all i ask for.

2009-05-31T07:08:00.000-07:00

i'm back.gone tmrD:
i hate my life.i alot.
i mean it.its disgusting,irritating.
any bad word can be use to describe it.
i'm pretty bored.
cant find any reason to smile now.
let alone laugh.
i think i'll kill myself one day and save all this trouble.
okay great something just ruined my mood further.
going obs tmr btw.
probably just die there.
byebye[:

2009-05-30T20:19:00.000-07:00

irritated.super irritated.
i hate it when ppl go back on their promises.
gahD: everyone is out now.left me.ohwells shall do my hmwk.
i'm basically chionging my hmwk now so that i have more free time in wk3.
sianzxzxzxzxzx.okay i'm so gonna turn black after today.
unless i get into the dorm grp instead of the mobile grp.
hais.i want ahda<3[:

nth is going right now.everything is all mess up.
i cant think properly.
i hate you,you idiot.

2009-05-30T07:55:00.000-07:00

i'm super irritated,bored and sadded by some things.
going obs on mon.
hopefully get in with ahda[:
i think i'm gonna breakdown soon or sth.
feeling really weird now.
okay i guess i really had enough.
let's just take a break okay.

i hate my life alot.reallyreally lot.
_ ______ _____ _____ __.i'm sorry.

2009-05-28T06:43:00.000-07:00

life is so darn bloody depressing.
keep having very bad mood swings this few days.
obs is coming reallyreally soon kay.
i'll miss ppl in sch leh.like alotD:
i think one day when i cant stand my destressing life i'm gonna kill myself.
tmr getting report bk.
i think i sure confirm dieD:
no hope lerDDD:
gonna be really busy this june hols kay.
1st wk got obs,2nd wk got work attachment and _________.
3rd wk shld be 2e3'08 and 3e6'09 and 6c'06's gathering.
4th wk got camp.you see!!!!
sianzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxz.
feel like living my blog here to die.
dont know luhDDDDDDDDDDDD:

2009-05-25T08:11:00.000-07:00

i've waited all night yet..
i dont know what isit then.

2009-05-25T07:06:00.000-07:00

posting[: was in a bad mood just now.
now okay luh[:
thks to fellow 6crians[:
i damn buay song zhss now kay
they think they call parents will solve prob siaO.o
instead they are just creating more problems can?!
idiot.i miss :D alot you knowD:
what's my prob?hais..
gtg byes[:

2009-05-24T00:50:00.000-07:00

back to my blog.
life is saddening man.
shall update later since i need to do my chinese hmwk.

tags reply:
huimin: bleah:P
shimin: uh i like it leh[:
hweeshien: hahas yea i know:D
annabel: heh i know:PP yea sameD: but where?
ziyi: lols sryD:

2009-05-22T08:09:00.001-07:00

okay i was super hyper in the afternoon kay but now i'm in a super bad mood now.
he is right,they are all right..
are we letting go?
great i'm crying now.like i've nvr been.
obs is coming.i'm all mess up nowD:
i dont know which way to go.
i dont know what i want.
i dont know where to go.
being lost in that maze of life again.
i cant take it anymore.
if this goes on i'm really going crazy.
i miss a lot of ppl now kayD:
i really really dont know if this is the life i want to go on.

2009-05-21T07:19:00.000-07:00

heh back to updating my deaddead blog[:
mye is seriously screwed failed 3 out of 7.
so zai right?want to tiao lou ler luh.
june hols has many events coming up[:
e3,6c,yog,e6 and manymany more[:
but i'm not really in the right mood nowD:
tmr sports arnival,playing frisbee[:
e6 must jiayou kay:D

i'm having serious mood swings these days.
i dont know what's my probD:
and i realise how much i miss 2e3'08
the rebellious bunch[:
talked to bel and felt better today[:
bel can seriously make you laugh[:
went out with manda.funny woman.

reply tags{: (yea i know like finally)
shimin: i like it leh:P
rachel: hmm you wait lor i lazy relink.lols.
jolynn: lols.
shimin: wah why you also call me charlene.hahas.green eraser is nice[: blue is nicer[:
weiting: lols you now then know i evil?
shimin: eh lols.
jy: uh you gdD:
amanda: lols yea i know.
passerby: then you still come?
amanda: lols.
sam: uh why i stupid?
jolynn: lols hi.
weiting: bleah:P
suyi: yo[:
shimin: lols dont want neh:P
shimin: lols i know luh.
joshua: uh lols.
shimin: lols yalun<3and hi duck papa.
darren: oh hi[:
huimin: dont want neh.
rachel: oh okay[:
darren : uh okay.
shimin: uh lols my name nicer.
annabel: hahas yea i know.opps:P
shimin: yea.uh okays.
amanda: hi[:
rachel: yea thks[:
shimin: yea very fun:D
joshua: eh its actually the reason why i use it[:
jr: oh god i'm lazy=x
sam: anytime dear[:(L)

2009-05-18T06:18:00.000-07:00

ohwells.i'm back to this deaddead blog of mine.
gonna be busy this hol.CO[:,camps[:,gatherings:D
too much mood swings today i think.heh._.

what's the main point in life?
after fighting for so long,wont we be still left with nth?
sometimes walking alone makes you think of many things.
think things through thoroughly.
the right choice?what's qualify for that?
they said that there is 3 ls that are important.
love,life,laugh.
given this life that we all have,we all choose to leave it the different way.
i think all those things that sam said were through.
we are all living our life tiredly no matter how we are living it.
and we will all leave our life tiredly no matter how we leave it.

yea finish the emo post.to sam<333333
love you dear:D relax and cheer up kays[:
like you said we cant do much help but we will give you moral support[:
life wont be fair but either way we still have to live with it no matter how tired you are.
i will stay by you okay[: i'm not those that dont mean what i say hor[:
i've felt those feelings that you said in the morning.
and the truth is i believe everyone in the world,
even the happiest one will go through things like that.
everyone will feel tired,sad,depressed and infact going crazy.
we just got to know that life isnt fair and its not going to be.
just live life in your best way and we will see where this get to[:
so cheer up my dear[:

okays finish updating[:
bye ppl[: love you,:D

2009-05-08T20:00:00.000-07:00

last post before mye hehheh.jiayous for mye ppl[: today was super blur..
nvm,btw thks for the jacket:D going to bia my subjects yet no mood.thks to ___
ohwells nvm shall see how.

tired of holding on to all my memories,tired of having a habit as missing you.
this time i'm really tired and this time i really really felt like giving all up.
what's even the meaning of life?in the end,after so long we are all left with nothing.

2009-05-01T09:31:00.000-07:00

my blog is veryvery dead.and its due to the overloading stressD: sian.hais visitemany ppl blog.but tag none.cause i was upset by some stuff.nvm.i'm at my cousins house now.staying over i think[: today is my granduncle's birthday.dont think updating in this month.

-this is my life,and after walking for so long,i'm going to turn back and find that i'm alone and i always will be.i will live my life alone,with no friends like her.

2009-04-02T07:35:00.000-07:00

my blog is erm dead:D
you are suppose to help me update you doodoo.
nvm[: hahs.i dont want reply tags.
too lazy to:P
bleah i need zao.

2009-03-29T02:08:00.000-07:00

oh i forgot one thing.
happy fifth month[:
i got a bear[: from :D it says just for you[:
hey thks[:
i got something for him too[: bleah:P
i think i'm gonna change my url soon.
give me suggestions?

2009-03-28T23:47:00.000-07:00

ello[:
blahblahblah.
blabberblabberblabber[:
i'm crazy now kays[: :D just came[:
he was here yesterday too[:
oh and yesterday was my mum's birthday:DDDDD
:D came and said happy birthday mummy-.-
and i said he shall stop calling here that.
ohhhyea shut up bitch[: i cant tahan you any longer you knowD:
shall reply tags the next time i come online.
that's like 47984848946yrs later[:
byebyes[: